Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
