Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
