There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
