better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
