I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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