Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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