Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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