He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
