Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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