If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
