How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
