This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
