Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
