She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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