I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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