I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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