Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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