I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
