she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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