i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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