through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
