My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
