wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize