the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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