sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
