I'm so fucking centered right now
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
