The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
