The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
