I'm going to jail i love you
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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