i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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