he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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