It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
