I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize