so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
