I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
