This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
