She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
