Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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