who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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