maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
