I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
