So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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