This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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