im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
