I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize