Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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