Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
