tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
