My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
