She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
