I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
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I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
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lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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