she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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