Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
