I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
