if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize