Umm I'm too high to move.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
