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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

  Fav 6 1190 3191

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again

  Fav 13 3968 1265

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

  Fav 15 1990 5165

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• (315): View more from New York

  I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.

  Fav 3 3088 1149

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

  Fav 6 1745 723

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.

  Fav 1 1401 580

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm

  Fav 4 667 762

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make

  Fav 7 1081 552

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.

  Fav 3 1142 500

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?

  Fav 15 1123 611

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  At what part of the night did you guys leave?

  (406): View more from Montana

  After my hot tub cannonball.

  Fav 2 838 555

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• (813): View more from Florida

  PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn

  Fav 0 43 34

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?

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