why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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