i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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