are you still at the devil's house?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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