Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
