U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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